Thursday, July 25, 2013

Too happy too soon?

Sorry I haven't updated on yesterdays ultrasound earlier but it wasn't great news and so I haven't been feeling the greatest. During my ultrasound yesterday the gestational sac measured 6 weeks 4 days and I should have been 6 weeks. Unfortunately the gestational sac was empty. There was no yolk sac, no fetal pole and no heart beat. The doctor is considering it a "suspected blighted ovum." My doctor told me it may just be too early but to not get my hopes up. I am scheduled for another scan on Tuesday, July 30. After sending the ultrasound report to my clinic in New York they emailed back pretty much saying "sure you didn't see anything, its way too early. You shouldn't have had an ultrasound until 7/31 anyway." Umm then why did they order me one for a week early? They seem optimistic and I'm hoping they don't live in a world where unicorns poop glitter cause this girl likes harsh reality even if it sucks. I did ask the clinic in NY why they ordered the scan to be done yesterday (the one at 5 weeks was ordered by my OB to check for another ectopic) and have yet to get a response. Sure will be interesting to hear their response.

I have researched and found that blighted ovum’s are caused by chromosomal abnormalities but I still can't help feeling like I did something wrong. Celebrated too early? Already bought a car seat cover? Found my maternity cloths?

Thankfully we didn't tell M yet. I have no clue how I would explain this to her.

I have been spending quite a bit of time on Dr. Google and from what I read there it can happen that 7 weeks is the magic number but I would assume that we would at least see something in there by now. I'm feeling a little better today but again not trying to get my hopes up. I would rather mourn the loss now and have good news then get my hopes up and have them shot right back down on Tuesday.

I hope with all my heart NYC (New York Clinic :)) is right and it was just to early but my mama instinct tells me it's over. If this is the case and it is a lost pregnancy I will be taking a month or two off of my IVF journey to get my emotions and stress in check before we start again.

Thanks to all who read and all who give their support. I will be sure to update on Tuesday.

1 comment:

  1. I a keeping my fingers crossed and have very high hopes u that the little beanie is only hiding. When I went to my obgyn at 4w6d (3 days ago) and there was just wall thickening :( but I do know now that it IS too early! I will trully hope that you will find a perfect and beautiful heart beat on Tuesday!